Trying Not to Kill Myself

This week, I talk about the new eBook that I’m going to publish in the coming weeks titled Trying Not to Kill Myself. I read a few of the shorts that are in the 100 story compilation and talk about what compelled me to write them, along with how they made me feel. I hope you like what you hear! If you do, keep an eye on Facebook and Instagram to hear updates about the project. I’ll also mention it here so that all of you wonderful podcast listeners are kept in the loop. Thanks for your support over the years and for the coming years as well.

I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people.

If you’re interested in other content by me, follow me on:

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Thinking of Those That You Miss

As we enter another week of quarantine, I talk about how I’ve been holding up so far and how I’ve coped with the isolation. Along with that, I look for the positive in the mess that the world seems to be in right now, and then decide to never talk about Coronavirus on my podcast again because information is coming from all directions and I want this to be more of a break from that as opposed to another source of worry. Thanks for listening, and keep an eye on my Facebook page (link below) to see when I release my first self-published book, Trying Not to Kill Myself. Stay safe and healthy out there.

I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people.

If you’re interested in other content by me, follow me on:

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Quarantined and Cooped Up

It’s a weird time for everyone right now. Stores, restaurants and businesses are closed, people are stuck at home, and most everyone is scared to leave their house, even if it’s for the most essential of items. Right now is a hard time on everyone, and trying to stay happy through all of it is difficult as heck. So this week, I talk about how I’ve been trying to stay happy and healthy while I’m locked in my apartment with Alex, a cat and a dog with more roundworms than I ever hoped to see in my whole life.

I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people.

If you’re interested in other content by me, follow me on:

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Living Amidst the Coronavirus

I know everyone has already been talking about COVID, but I thought I’d throw my hat in the ring too. Stay healthy out there and try not to let this thing scare you too badly. It’s obviously a big deal, but so is acting rationally and doing everything in your power to handle it responsibly and without screwing over your neighbors (stop hoarding toilet paper.) Here are my thoughts on the virus and how it’s affected me mentally.

I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people.

If you’re interested in other content by me, follow me on:

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Old Happiness Vs. New Happiness

In a recent episode, I talked about what happiness means to me and how I see it affecting other people. In this episode, I talk about why I was at least partially wrong in that belief, and how I’ve been trying to evalute what happiness really means to me now.

I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people.

If you’re interested in other content by me, follow me on:

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Simple Things Pt. IV

Why part four? Well, because I’ve written about the simple things in the past in a book I’m currently editing with Alex. Hopefully it’ll be edited in the coming months but I’m trying not to put too much pressure on myself, plus, I don’t want this to be an advertisement. I just wanted to let you know I wasn’t going crazy. This week, I talk about the simple things that make me happy. I’ve been having a rough few weeks and this podcast isn’t a platform for me to vent, but rather a platform to share tips and tricks on how to be happier. So, I want to talk about what’s been making me happier. I hope it can help you like it helps me.

I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people.

If you’re interested in other content by me, follow me on:

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The Depressed, Anxiety-Filled Thoughts of Scott

Welcome to another episode of Acceptable Madness! This week, I just talk. I know you’re probably thinking, “but Scott, all you do is talk every week.” Well, that’s obviously true, but instead of following some theme, I go over what’s been going on in my life, how it’s been making me feel and how I’ve been trying to cope with it. Depression isn’t a sexy topic, but I think sharing some of the most unpleasant thoughts straight from the source can beincredibly helpful. I hope this episode can give you insight into my head, and proves to you that, no matter what, you’re never by yourself. I care for you. Lots.

I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people.

If you’re interested in other content by me, follow me on:

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Learning to Stay One Step Ahead

When I started this podcast, it was a mess. The volume was too low, I lost my train of thought to often and I didn’t really know where to put it. Now, one year later, it’s gotten significantly better, so much so that it feels like someone else entirely is making it. The only thing that blows my mind more than that is how different I know it will be in another year.

This week, I talk about learning and how getting better at something can be a rewarding experience that can take your mind off of the depressed thoughts that you might be struggling with.

I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people.

If you’re interested in other content by me, follow me on:

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What Does it Mean to be Happy?

Since I made this podcast, I’ve explored different aspects of depression and how it has affected me. It hasn’t always been a peaceful ride, and it certainly hasn’t always been fun, but it’s helped me to better understand my mind. While I’ve made all of these revelations, something has stayed constant that I will never be able to escape entirely; I’m still depressed. Recently, I’ve thought a lot about what it actually means to be happy, and wondered if I’ll ever be able to feel what others define as happiness, or if it will be some modified, duller version that I’ll be forced to live until the end of time.

In this episode, I talk about how I feel my life is different from those that don’t struggle with depression, and how difficult it will be to move forward.

I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people.

If you’re interested in other content by me, follow me on:

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Starting Fresh and Accomplishing Long-Term Goals

I graduated from college in 2017. Since then, I’ve been laid off once, changed apartments three times, changed out of another job, and now I’ve moved to an all new city. On top of that, I start a brand new job tomorrow that is in the field that I studied in college where I’ll meet all new people, responsibilities and challenges. In this episode, I reflect on everything that’s happened to me over the past two years, and how I’m equal parts depressed and excited to see what happens next.

I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people.

If you’re interested in other content by me, follow me on:

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Living with Consequences

This episode is one that I feel is about an obvious topic, but what it means is often less than ideal. What I mean by this is that – even though we grow as people – some of what we have done in the past will come back to bite us. Not everyone that you talk to while struggling with mental health will understand where you’re coming from, and they might not even accept an apology if what you’ve done or said has really affected them. It’s an unfortunate truth, but one that I think is important to come to terms with, especially while you grow as a person and learn how to build and maintain relationships. In this episode, I talk about how I’ve overcome the damaged relationships that I have, and how I’ve even made efforts to try and repair them.

I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people.

If you’re interested in other content by me, follow me on:

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Leaving the Comfort Zone

When you graduate college, there only seems to be two choices, career or relationships. After I graduated, I chose relationships and stayed in the town that I went to college in with friends and family that I love. That caused a lot of headache that came in the form of longterm unemployment, followed by a layoff, followed by another bout of longterm unemployment, but I was mostly happy because I was with people that I cared about. That has all changed recently since I moved with Alex to the place that she got her new job. I’ve moved from those I love to a new state entirely and now I’m starting anew, again looking for a job, but this time in a place that I don’t know and with people I’m unfamiliar with. In this episode, I talk about the silver lining that’s revealed itself in this new place that’s being clouded with unfamiliarity and fear.

I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people.

If you’re interested in other content by me, follow me on:

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Talking it Out

When the world moves at one million miles per hour, it’s easy to let it take you on a ride and go with the motions. During this holiday break, I did just that and did my best to enjoy my time as it was happening. I went to see a bunch of family, got plans figured out before the big move that Alex and I are going on (which will have already happened by the time this episode goes live) and packed. While all of this was happening, I didn’t have much time to sit back and reflect on how I was feeling throughout and if I was actually happy. In this episode, I talk about what has helped me stay level-headed and calm through this hectic time.

I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people.

If you’re interested in other content by me, follow me on:

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Giving and the Joy it Brings

It’s that time of the year when everyone has something to be grateful for and most people are spending time with their family. In this episode, I’d like to talk about what makes spending that time with loved ones feel so fulfilling, and how even if you don’t have a traditional family, you can still feel happiness in the world around you.

I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people.

If you’re interested in other content by me, follow me on:

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The Humbling Experience of Being Bad

In this episode, I kinda ramble about being bad at stuff and how it’s actually awesome. When you find something that you like enough to actually do it, being bad is fun because you can see where others are that have been doing it much longer than you, and you can find communities of people that want to see you do better. When friends and family aren’t interested in the same stuff as you, there’s always an online community that will welcome you with open arms.

I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people.

If you’re interested in other content by me, follow me on:

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The Battle of Arrogance and Modesty

When I was younger, I was a happy-go-lucky kid. Eventually, once puberty hit like a brick to the face, I defended against the impending doom of awkwardness and depression with being overly arrogant, looking back, generally unlikable. In this episode, I talk about why I acted like I was better than everyone else, how that was wrong, how I ended up swinging in the other direction of abysmal self-esteem and how I got to where I am today.

I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people.

If you’re interested in other content by me, follow me on:

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The Ultimate Stressor

I believe that for many people, money is the ultimate stressor. Having far too much and far too little lead to their own struggles, and in this episode, I dive into the only one that I can talk about, which is the latter. Bills, loans and employment lead to so many difficult truths and issues that it’s only right to talk about them and the experiences with it. I hope this episode can bring some inner peace to someone who’s going through a rough patch.

I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people.

If you’re interested in other content by me, follow me on:

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Getting to a Place That You Feel Comfortable

Living with mental illness makes everything harder and one of the primary aspects of life that it affects is your ability to take on new, unfamiliar challenges. This week, I talk about how I had a hard time branching out and tackling new experiences, and how, with time and lots of introspection, I was able to look at the upcoming changes with hope and excitement instead of the dread that I had come to know.

I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people.

If you’re interested in other content by me, follow me on:

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Making Friends Last Longer than Milk

As I reflect on monumental changes in my life, such as going to and then graduating college and changing jobs more times than I’d like to admit, it’s easy to lose track of who matters to you. The people that you see everyday change, and maintaining contact is easy to forget, so how can you connect with those that you no longer see? That’s what I talk about this week (and will continue trying to figure out for the rest of my life.)

I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people.

If you’re interested in other content by me, follow me on:

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Putting Yourself First

Saying no is hard, especially when the consequence of you saying that short word can negatively impact others, but it’s an important lesson to learn. Not only are there people in the world that will capitalize on your kindness, but there are some things in the world that are meant to take advantage of those that are willing to give 110%. In this episode, I talk about how saying no can take the stress off of your shoulders, and how it doesn’t need to be internalized.

I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people.

If you’re interested in other content by me, follow me on:

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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpiT4JjAzziR-EODaBDPaJg