All the Money in the World

I strongly believe that if I won the lottery, I would be disappointed. I don’t want free money. There’s no value there. I want to work hard and earn it all myself. I don’t have rich tastes so I wouldn’t spend it anyway so why does it matter?

Scott McFrugal

If I had all of the money in the world…

I would buy my dream house.

I would own my favorite car.

I would never work another day of my life.

I would not need to worry about my well-being.

I would be happy.

But, if I had all of the money in the world…

Would I have any ambition?

Would I value my relationships?

Would I find purpose in what I do?

Would I enjoy what I spent it on?

Would I truly find anything but emptiness?

If I could have all of the money in the world…

Would I want it?

full frame shot of eye
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Nothing

Scott Mc

 

green wooden chair on white surface
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It’s hard to explain.

It’s like you’re a broken record player, skipping over and over.

It’s like you’re a wilting flower, dreaming of blooming again.

It’s like you’re a marathon runner with two broken legs.

It’s like you’re a lion’s prey, being eaten alive.

It’s like you’re driving into oncoming traffic.

It’s like you’re a drowning infant.

It’s like you’re nothing.

Like you’re nothing.

You’re nothing.

I’m nothing.

Nothing.

green wooden chair on white surface

I Burnt My Penis in the Shower

Sometimes I write funny stuff, too.

Scott McHilarious

I burnt my penis in the shower.

Scalding hot water touched the tip and I could do nothing but cower.

I stepped back from the stream and the steam cleared, showing the gleam

Of my rose red penis head looking bright as the actual flower.

I cried and I screamed and my happy emotions were overpowered,

My shriveled dong looking like a baby’s hand that had soaked in water for hours.

I grabbed a towel and cleaned my dowel, the feeling still foul

My mushroom cap looked like it had been cooked to be devoured.

As time passed, the feeling changed from a painful burning to something much more sour.

I iced the circumcised cucumber for a while, the pain vanished like Europe from the Mayflower.

I laid back in bed, wondering if it was all in my head or if the pain was really in my head.

I can’t believe I burnt my penis in the shower.

nature grass mushrooms amanita
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