Sometimes I write funny stuff, too.

Scott McHilarious

I burnt my penis in the shower.

Scalding hot water touched the tip and I could do nothing but cower.

I stepped back from the stream and the steam cleared, showing the gleam

Of my rose red penis head looking bright as the actual flower.

I cried and I screamed and my happy emotions were overpowered,

My shriveled dong looking like a baby’s hand that had soaked in water for hours.

I grabbed a towel and cleaned my dowel, the feeling still foul

My mushroom cap looked like it had been cooked to be devoured.

As time passed, the feeling changed from a painful burning to something much more sour.

I iced the circumcised cucumber for a while, the pain vanished like Europe from the Mayflower.

I laid back in bed, wondering if it was all in my head or if the pain was really in my head.

I can’t believe I burnt my penis in the shower.